A dear friend advised me sometime back to come online and at least write or read blogs. I guess after I left the hospital something just went silent within me.
Doctors were questioning my diagnosis, mental stability etc and it felt like too much. I needed a break from my head, my body and practically everything. I pulled away from friends and loved ones. I really felt like I had nothing to look out for and to top it off the hospital misplaced my medical file.
I got better physically, I was taught how to handle the spasms better. But lately it seems like I’m having a setback. The symptoms seem to be returning. though some never left. Its getting harder to get out of bed. The pains that used to make me cry seem to be coming back. I had to go back to using my walking stick sometimes etc.
The year is ending and as it has been for sometime now, i get caught in a dilemma towards the end of the year: between gratitude and ingratitude, doubt and hope. I wish i could go out whenever i feel like, spend time with friends etc but I can’t. I can’t go to my garden and I cant cook or bake in the kitchen but I am grateful to be alive because i believe LIFE is the greatest gift to humanity.
So, if anyone asks me or wants to know how im doing? I’ll just say- “I’M HANGING IN THERE”.
In Sickness and In Health 